True Toulousain. True French.

Over the past few weeks you’ve read plenty about me. Now it’s time to meet my neighbors.

I live on the fifth floor of an apartment building in the fourth largest city in France, Toulouse. I share my floor with four other families. Seeing things through the eyes of a Toulousain (inhabitant of Toulouse) I’ll introduce you to my neighbors and describe how a Toulousain brain might categorize them nationality-wise upon first view. I will also give you their first names and approximate age to make them easier to imagine. Then I will give you my opinion on what I see, which, of course, I consider more accurate.

Father and Son Apartment:

Name: Dider (father)

Approximate age: 58

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

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Name: Julien (son)

Approximate age: 20

Skin color: tan

Nationality: Immigrant French, by his mother who must be African or Arab

In reality, in my opinion, Didier has olive skin as is common to this region of southwestern France. His European features make his skin appear fairer than it actually is. His family has been in this region for a long time. He is not originally from Toulouse but his parents and grandparents come from a small town, named Rodez, which is not too far.

Julien, his son, is mixed. His mother is from Africa, but I do not know which country.

Retired Couple Apartment:

Name: Fatima (wife)

Approximate age: 67

Skin color: tan

Nationality: immigrant from North Africa

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Name: Rasheed (husband)

Approximate age: 72

Skin color: tan

Nationality: immigrant from North Africa

In reality, these two have olive skin, like Didier. They were both born in Algeria from which they immigrated to France where their children and grandchildren were born. All three generations of this family are considered immigrants in the French psyche.

Nuclear Family Apartment:

Name: Vérionique (wife, mother)

Approximate age: 43

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

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Name: Sebastien (husband, father)

Approximate age: 43

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

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Name: Emma (daughter, sister)

Approximate Age: 17

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

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Name: Nicolas (son, brother)

Approximate age: 15

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

My first long conversation with a neighbor on my floor was with the wife/ mother of this family, Véronique or Véro for short. In France, if you have a foreign accent (like me) or if you do speak like a native (even better than a native) but do not have fair skin, you will almost always be asked from whence you came. Véro was true to that claim. Also typical, was her surprize upon learning that I was not North African. However, explaining to her that I was American was not enough. Because, as is assumed by most of the world outside of the U.S.A. and thanks to the great Hollywood distribution machine, we Americans are assumed to be « White. » So if you « look Arab, » like me, but say you are American, people’s brains start to bug. They usually are too embarrassed to probe further, but not all of them. This is the case of Véro who continued to make inquiries. The obliging, polite suburban American female that I am, I went on to reveal my ethnic background which explained why I didn’t look 100 % White. Upon hearing that I was Iranian and Irish she was satisfied. Afterall, Iranians are just like the Arabs, right ?! Irish, though…she did NOT expect that ! And how interesting (to her) that her sister emmigrated to Ireland !

Having nothing else to extract from me, Véro switched the topic to gloat about herself. « I’m a true Toulousain, » she said with obvious pride. « My husband is a ‘vrai Toulousain’ too. »

They were both born in Toulouse. Met in school in this city where they were high school sweethearts and the fruit of their relationship delivered two undeniably authentic Toulousains!

I was impressed, I guess.

No. I don’t care. Not really.

I could only think of how if she had tan or brown skin that she wouldn’t be considered a « true » Toulousain despite being born here. She wouldn’t even be considered truly French.

But then, without her realizing it, she really made my day…

Caught in the romance of where she came from she went on to elaborate. As it turns out, Véronique actually has ancestors from Spain and Corsica (which became French only in the18th century). Her husband, isn’t exactly French either – but don’t tell her or him that. He has family roots in Spanish Catalonia.

I wanted to…yes, I wanted to say it out loud…but I just chuckled to myself on the inside. Thinking, « I thought you were a true Toulousain through and through ! » I am used to this kind of talk and I avoid getting into futile debates with people who do not know how to listen to anything other than the endlessly repeating chorus in their head. That is unless I have extra time that day by chance. But, I generally put my energy where it is most useful because it is limited. Or maybe it’s because, again, I am a product of suburban America, where a girl is supposed to be polite and only say nice things.

Mother and Son Apartment:

Name: Marie Hélène (mother)

Approximate age: 58

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

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Name: Quentin (son)

Approximate age: 22

Skin color: fair

Nationality: French

In reality, this mom and son duo is just as French as the nuclear family. On one very chilly winter’s day, while chit-chating with Marie Hélène she said, « I can’t take this cold. I’m Spanish. » (There have been several waves of immigration from Spain into France, especially here in the southwest. We are on the other side of the Pyrenees that separates the two countries.)

In conclusion, should I use the popular French idea that a person is only truly French if they are perceived as White and if their family has been on French soil for as long as can be remembered then there is only one true French person on my floor. That would be Didier, with the Southern French olive skin, divorced from a woman from Africa; and who has, as far as I have seen, only ever dated women from Africa since.